Getting Unstuck Part II – The Real Story.
I have something that I need to admit. What I posted last week about getting out from between the rock and the hard place – that stuck place of feeling torn between an eating disorder and recovery, or between diet culture messages and what your body really wants and needs – wasn't the full story.
How do you get unstuck?
The truth: I don’t know.
Because I’m not you.
Only you can find how to shift out of the stuckness into the life you really want to be living. It’s your life, not mine. Only you know all the ins and outs of how you got stuck and only you are the expert of your life.
Of course, I have lots of ideas about what could be helpful, things you can try out to see if they work for you. I wrote about some of those ideas last week. I’ll continue to write about more.
What I do know:
You’re not meant to do this alone. Eating disorders thrive in isolation. Stuckness grows when we’re alone. Having someone else who is fully aligned with your true self and not your eating disorder (or the other yuck) is beyond helpful, it is essential.
The journey takes time. Finding freedom doesn’t happen overnight; it takes a lot of trial and error and lots of experimenting to find what works for you.
Bravery is required. You’ll need courage to step out of the familiarity and seeming safety of the stuck place to try out something new. It’s a risk, one that is 1000% worth taking. I think of the popular quote: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
There are layers. When we heal and grow we discover layers of ourselves, our defenses, our emotions and personas, and our pain that perhaps we didn’t know were there (afterall, denial is a powerful tool for survival). It’s like peeling back the petals of an artichoke to find the heart at the core: the long process is so worth it.
We don’t know what we don’t know. Others help us to see that the seemingly impossible is possible. This is why learning about the pathways others have taken actually is helpful. Just don’t forget to watch out for the comparison monster!
We unlearn to relearn. Getting unstuck requires the unlearning of old messages and ways of being so that we can then relearn our natural way of being, coming home to who we truly are and have always been. First we unravel, then we reweave.
Finding freedom can be fun! Yes, therapy and healing and emotions can be very serious and heavy but they can also be very fun! Let’s make this whole experimenting thing as creative and playful as possible (and it’s ok that sometimes it’s not).
There’s not a wrong way or a right way. There is your way. Freeing yourself from the expectation that your journey should look a certain way opens up space for you to come home to who you truly are and your own beautiful way of being. I’m so excited to see what you find and create!
Making the journey you own is what works. You create your own reality, not me or anyone else. That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve support along the way (you do!), it means that we honor your unique lived experience.
You CAN get unstuck. Even if I don’t know exactly how you are going to get out, I know you can. I believe in you wholeheartedly. The strength and beauty of the human spirit never ceases to amaze me.
I’m all about creating your own unique pathway out of the stuckness into your most alive, joyful, fulfilled, and connected life.
If there was one way out, it would be easy and none of us would be stuck.
If we were all the same it would be so boring.
I want to know what you discover! What works for you? What doesn’t?
Let’s explore together!
Four things I will continually tell you:
I care about you;
having a body is beautiful;
recovery is possible; and
we choose what matters in this one wildly precious life!
