Creating Vs. Finding Joy

Something that I have realized about being on a joy diet is that it is really a process of opening to what is happening around me. I can definitely create joyful moments, and I do. However, most of the joy I experience is what happens when I open myself up to the possibilities of the moment and engage in looking for joy that is already there, waiting to happen.

Here are some random moments of joy that I have found – or that have found me – recently:

A baby bunny with a white forehead spot skittering across my back porch
Butterflies flitting above wildflowers in the foothills
The sunset light coming through my front windows as I curl up on the couch to watch a show with my best friend
Floating on my back in a mountain lake
All the bites of chocolate
Seeing my husband so happy on his adventures
Belly laughs in my kitchen over a friend’s ridiculous stories
Seeing a rainbow above the grocery store

What moments of joy have found you recently?

Were you open to receiving them?

The more I look for joy, the more I find! It’s the opposite of a negative mood spiral (which, of course, I do experience because I’m a human too). Where we put our attention matters. If we focus our attention on challenges or problems or perceived threats, we are more likely to find them because we are looking for them. If we direct our attention towards beauty, appreciation, or joy, we are more likely to discover those things around us. In a sense how we apply our attention is another way of creating even though it feels like finding. Perhaps the line between creating and finding is blurrier than I first thought! I truly believe that this is how we create our own realities.

Try this out:

Look around your environment or explore your environment with your senses (touch, smell, hearing, taste) in search of something you do not like or that is unpleasant to you. Bring your full attention to that thing. See if you can focus your attention there for two deep breaths. Notice your inner experience – emotions, sensations in your body, thoughts in your mind. Jot down what you notice. For example: as I pay attention to the summer heat I notice tightness in my jaw and heaviness in my chest, anger and despair, and thoughts about wanting to escape and not knowing how I’ll survive the summer. I start to think about ways to “solve” the “problem.”
Now, take a few deep breaths and wiggle or stretch your body. Now look around or explore your environment with your senses again, this time in search of something that you like or is pleasant or pleasurable to you. Bring your full attention to that thing for two deep breaths. Notice your inner experience - emotions, sensations in the body, thoughts created by your mind. Jot these down. For example: as I notice the flavor of matcha on my tongue I notice my toes wiggling (a tell that I’m happy!), my breathing becoming deeper, my chest opening, and my thoughts focusing on how delightful the sensation is. I notice myself looking around with an open focus at the colors around me, feeling open to discovering more delight.
Look over what you wrote down, noticing patterns and appreciating how you created two different experiences for yourself.
Congratulate yourself on experimenting with your attention!

What we look for, we find.

What we put our attention on grows.

Of course, sometimes shifting our attention is easier said than done. When we are in the midst of reactive emotions or deep grief or chronic pain, choosing to direct our focus elsewhere can take a herculean effort. Honestly, this week my physical and emotional state have felt heavy, therefore I’ve found it to be more challenging to focus on my diet of joy. Nonetheless, it is possible, even if only briefly, to choose to create or find another experience entirely. And perhaps, that experience will tumble into another and another. In essence, when we redirect our attention in this way it is a micro-moment of retraining our brains. The brain pathways we use frequently get stronger, leading to a higher likelihood of our brain naturally tending towards those pathways in the future. Thus looking for joy is training my brain to be more capable of finding and experiencing joy naturally. How cool is that?!

I found a lot of joy in matching the roses in my yard by accident!

Overall, I’m loving the journey and the surprises that come when I put my attention on joy!

Maybe for you it’s something different. I have a dear friend who told me that prioritizing joy didn’t fit for her but that she could commit to pleasure. Perhaps for you it’s focusing on gratitude or connection or presence or hope!

What are you putting your attention on?

What are you finding?

Truly, I would love to know! I’d also be thrilled to hear what you think about creating vs. finding. I’m beginning to think that they are the same thing but perhaps you have another opinion or insight. Let me know!

Four I will always remind you of:

I care about you;

having a body is beautiful;

recovery is possible; and

we choose what matters in this one wildly precious life!

Creating vs. Finding - Joy diet follow-up