Appreciation - it doesn’t have to be positive!
Yesterday I was on a call on appreciative listening with Katie Hendricks, and I had my own “aha!” about appreciation.
You don’t have to like, or even find positive, the things you appreciate. I’ve always thought that I have to find something I like or at least something that is mildly positive in order to appreciate it. However, that’s not true!
Appreciation is about noticing and accepting what is. It’s about bringing our sensitive awareness to be with what is happening.
Perhaps we happen to notice something we like or perhaps we notice something we don’t like. Regardless, we can bring our sensitive awareness to whatever it is in order to recognize that it indeed is existing or is happening.
Appreciation is about being with.
Appreciation is a direct path to acceptance.
Acceptance does not mean approval, it means being with reality.
So much of our suffering comes from resisting what is happening:
“There shouldn’t be dishes in the sink.”
“Our politics shouldn’t be this way.”
“I shouldn’t feel sad/mad/scared/sexual/etc.”
“It/I shouldn’t be this way.”
We can greatly reduce our own suffering by being with and accepting what is, then we can decide if we want to create change or not.
Acceptance is the birthplace of change, and appreciation is the on-ramp to acceptance.
Appreciating also allows us to meet the unknown. When we can be with what is rather than try to anticipate or control, we open ourselves to truly experiencing life as it unfolds. This can be both terrifying and amazingly enlivening!
My invitation to you is to:
Try appreciating what is happening right now
Experiment with appreciating things when you are in a positive mood
Try out appreciating things when you’re feeling grumpy, down, or stuck
What can you appreciate about yourself right now?
Notice what happens. If it feels right, share what you notice with me. I’d love to hear your thoughts on appreciation!
